i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
