Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
