I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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