we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
