Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
