i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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