I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
