You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
