i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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