This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
