wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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