Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
