well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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