Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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