I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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