I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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