The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
