hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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