i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Come on in and take your pants off
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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