i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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