wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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