new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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