Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
