He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
