he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
