You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
