whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
