If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
