sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
