By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
