I'm lost and stupid without you.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
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