the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
