please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
