for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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