She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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