rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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