i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
