Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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