i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This is my gift to your gina
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
