so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
