Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
