Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize