This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
