I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
