I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
