this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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