Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
