so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
