OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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