I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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