Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
high people should be assigned attendants
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
