what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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