weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
