it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
