There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
