I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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