You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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