why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
