you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
