nut hugger
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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