i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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