Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
