Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
