I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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